There's a lesson I learned a long time ago about Heavenly Father's plans for me: I have no idea what they are, but He knows best, so I should trust Him. Occasionally I need to be reminded of that.
Some people have said that God laughs at our best laid plans. I can attest that I've had that experience at times, but I've also experienced absolute silence after presenting my ideas to the Lord. Unfortunately, I doubt it's because He's nodding His head, contemplating my elaborate schemes and thinking, "Yes, this might work." No, it's more the silence of when a parent is covering their face, shaking their head, wondering what in the world is going through their child's head.
I've had an ongoing situation that I've presented to the Lord many times over these past few weeks. Due to my inability (or talent, depending on who you ask) to commit to things, I shouldn't have been surprised when the answer I received seemed almost non-committal. Sometimes you just a want a yes/no answer, but instead of evening getting a "maybe," you get "wait and see."
So, I've waited. I've seed (sawed? seen? whatever). I've retrospected. After some time I smiled to myself and thought, "Ah, I see how it is, I'm supposed to decide on what to do, then tell the Lord and He'll say yes or no then." Pleased with the conclusion I had come to, I began to think of my options. I prayerfully asked for assistance in recognizing what the options were to resolve this issue I was facing. All I got was more "wait and see." By this time I was thinking I could hear a little divine snickering.
More waiting. More seeing. More retrospecting.
Finally, I made a decision. This issue was going to be resolved once and for all, and I knew what I had to do. No more beating around the bush, it was time for extreme measures, enough was enough, the line was drawn in the sand I knew where I stood! Piece by piece I set out my game plan before God. A flawless plan, this will solve this problem once and for all!
I was mighty impressed with myself, and I figured Heavenly Father would be as well. After all, this decision had been a long time coming, and I'd made it! I had waited long enough, I had seen what I needed to see! Sound the trumpets, let loose the pigeons, start the parade, it was time to put this behind me and move on to better things!
After asking the Lord for feedback on my amazing plan I whipped out my scriptures to see what He had to tell me. I've had many prayers answered by randomly opening the scriptures, so I did just that. I expected something along the lines of, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," or some verse referring to wisdom, or maybe I'd even experience a voice saying, "yes, you're right, do that." Instead I heard more of sigh. Then the shellacking began.
I opened my Book of Mormon, and my eyes picked a verse. The directness of the verse to my specific situation was incredible. Plain as day, like black on white, the answer was given that my plan was garbage. So, naturally, I chuckled to myself and said, "Silly me, I opened to the wrong place!" Luckily, I'm not too slow to learn. By the 3rd time I opened my scriptures and got a direct answer in the first verse I read on the page I got the message.
Looks like more waiting and seeing for me. My best laid plans were all for naught. But, as has been said before, we see only the thread right before our eyes, and though we may not like the color we see, only God can see the whole tapestry and knows the whats, whens, whys and hows that will turn us into an eternal masterpiece.
With that in mind, I think I can "wait and see."