Don't call me Buddy

I work in customer service, all of which is done over the phone. There's quite a variety of people that speak to me each day, and boy oh boy do I have some stories about the crazies that live in Utah! Along with the good people and the crazy people, there are the ones that just get to you.

This goes beyond how I'm treated at work, expanding into the realm of school and social life. There's one particular group that gets under my skin more than any other.

The Patronizers.

You know the type. In conversation they try to place themselves above you, attempting to establish themselves as superior, the master of your interactions.

It's nothing bold like outrightly saying they're more intelligent or experienced. No, they change their tone of voice, so it sounds like they're talking to a child. They use small words, thinking big words will confuse you. And, worst of all, instead of calling you by name or a respectful title, they reference you in a way that blatantly shows that they think of you as inferior.

The titles:

Buddy - I am not your buddy. I will never be your buddy. Buddy is what you call the young neighbor child who is consistently coming to your house and asking you questions about what you're doing while his parents spend the afternoon at Walmart. Call me buddy again and you lose a kneecap.

Pal - This is similar to buddy, used in reference to an acquaintance with whom you are friendly, but most of the time you just want them to go away.

Kiddo - You don't know how old I am, do not try to establish yourself as the dominant adult in any situation with me. I'll show you the respect you deserve, and by calling me kiddo you're demonstrating your immaturity, and lack of confidence as an adult. Yes, that is embarrassing for you, so please, don't call me kiddo and I won't have to point it out.

Joven - This is Spanish word, literally translated to mean lad, junior, or young person. It's not meant to be derogatory, but for some reason it makes me bristle.

Some of you may be saying that I shouldn't worry about it, it's no big deal, or I'm overreacting. Most of the time I would say you're right, however right now I'm feeling immature, so I feel like expressing my immature thoughts.

I'm all about respect. In nearly every situation in life there are disagreements and disappointments, but there is always room for respect. The moment you try to satisfy your primal urge to be the dominant individual in conversation, relationships, what-have-you, you begin to lose my respect. Especially because as you try to take charge you begin to show less respect to everyone around you.

There, I'm done ranting, at least for now. If you disagree with my statements I'm OK with that. Just don't disrespect me. If you do, then, to quote a famous anchorman, "I will fight you. That's no lie."