Journalizing

It's been quite a while since I last made a blog post. So sue me, all 3 of you who read this. Likely while you're in the restroom. Gross.

This lack of blogging entries is vaguely (or exactly) like my journal writing skills as of late. On January 1, 2004, I determined to write in my journal every day. It was a big goal for me, I hadn't written in a journal for about 7 or 8 years, so I wasn't really sure how to do it. But I made the goal, and I got to work.

The timing couldn't have been better to make such a goal. I was in my senior year of high school, there was a lot going on in my life (so I thought at that time), and there were many decisions to make. There are entries about my dating life (which are quite difficult to read), my adventures with friends (I don't know how no one has decided to kill me yet), and important decision such as deciding to serve a mission.

By the time I went on my mission I had been writing in my journal every day for just over a year. The habit was drilled into me, something I am very grateful for because it was very easy for me to keep a journal while on my mission in California. My mission journals are precious to me, and it is always a special experience when I read them. I'll open to a random date, begin to read, and my mind is instantly taken back to the exact moment I wrote the entry. Specific memories come back from that day, random conversations, people that I haven't thought about in years, they all come flooding to mind. Who knew journal reading could be a very emotional experience? Not me, that's the sure.

After my mission I continued to write diligently. 2008 continued on, and the number of times I had missed a day of journal writing since my 2004 commitment was in the single digits. It was great. And then I stopped. Mid November of 08, I just stopped writing. There are numerous theories, but nothing for sure. The most likely reason, in my mind at least, is that I got into a habit of writing like I was writing for an audience. In a way, my journal became more like a blog that no one was allowed to read. It was for an imaginary audience, and I was no longer writing for me. Again, that's a theory.

*Quick opinionated note: Blogs are not the same as journals. To me a journal is private, for the writer and maybe a few others. Even a private blog isn't the same. That's just me though.

A few days ago a wonderful friend convinced me to start writing again. Quite a daunting task, writing a catch-up entry for the last 21 months. So, I finally manned up, sat down, and started writing. 2 hours, 5 1/2 pages, 1400 words later, I had written hardly 1/4 of what I would still like to cover. But it felt so good to write again. I had forgotten how much I learn from writing down my thoughts, and had some epiphanies while writing. No, I won't share them here. Why? because this is a blog, not my journal!

This may seem a boring post. Well, I would agree, but it's nothing to fret about, more posts will come. School is starting soon, so I'm sure this will be used as an outlet of procrastination. Huzzah for avoidance techniques!